Restoration
by Ell
Summary: In watching Harm pour his love into a broken little girl, willing her to wake up and recover, she started to learn something about the nature of family that Mac had not expected. H/M
1. Chapter 1

RESTORATION

Disclaimer

Not mine. Never were, never will be. I'm just taking them out to play for a minute.

Summary

In watching Harm pour his love into a broken little girl, willing her to wake up and recover, she started to learn something about the nature of family that she had not expected. H/M

Rating: T

A/N: The order of events may vary slightly from canon to fit my narrative.

ooOOoo

Chapter 1 – Push/Pull

ooOOoo

Harm wasn't in the office today. The thought crossed Mac's mind as she drove home. That was weird, he had not told her he was going out of town, and he had not told her he was taking vacation. She resolved to call him once she arrived home.

No answer on his home phone, no answer on his mobile. "Call me, when you get a moment." was her simple message on both devices.

Their relationship was still floundering. The positive steps that Harm had taken in the hospital over Christmas, following Mac's accident, should have progressed them in the right direction. But Mac's distress over her illness, and the highly unlikely possibility she would ever carry a child, his child, had left her angry and confused.

She continued to push him away. She insisted on being ruled by her head; and her head said it was unfair to him if she could not give him the family he so desired. The fact he had told her time and again that a family with her could take many forms, was lost on her; she refused to acknowledge the truth of his words.

ooOOoo

The next day Jennifer pulled her aside as she entered the office. Mattie had been in an accident, she was in a coma, and Harm had not left her side.

Mac's first instinct was to run to him, but the General had other plans. He had her covering several of Harm's cases and taking on a new one. She barely lifted her head all day.

Jennifer tapped lightly on her door late in the afternoon, carrying a cup of coffee in one had and a sandwich in the other.

"Colonel? My guess is you have not stopped to breathe all day. Lunch?"

Mac looked up with a weak smile, "Thank you Jennifer, you probably heard my stomach protesting clear across the bullpen."

Mac motioned for Jennifer to take a seat. "What more can you tell me?" she asked the petty officer.

"Mattie was taking a flying lesson and there was some type of accident. She is badly injured." With tears streaming down her face, Jennifer continued, "she is in a coma; she has spinal damage, and possible head trauma." Mac stood, and came to sit beside Jennifer, placing a comforting hand on her shoulder; it was a lot worse than she had allowed herself to imagine. It took all her Marine training to keep her own emotions under control.

After pausing to wipe her eyes and nose, Jennifer continued between sobs, "She's in the hospital out at Blacksburg. They don't want to move her … 'til she wakes up. No one knows … how bad it is… the doctor is not, not even sure … if… when… she will wake up… The Commander … is distraught…" At this point Jennifer's sobs overwhelmed her and Mac took the young woman into her arms.

ooOOoo

Mac was galvanised into action, she was on her way home to change, then to Harm's to pick up a few things for him (he was never prepared enough to have a kit-bag in his car). She had reassured Jennifer that she had everything under control.

The hospital was small compared to Bethesda. Mac quickly found her way to the entry of the ICU. Now her plans were frustrated. She was not a family member, so she was forced to stay outside the ICU, watching through the glass from the corridor.

Mattie looked so small in the bed, overwhelmed by tubes, a neck brace, and other medical paraphernalia. Harm was slumped into a chair at her bedside, holding her hand. It looked like he was talking to her, but Mac could not hear the words.

As she stood there, watching him comfort Mattie, scenes of Harm and Mattie danced across her mind. Early days, like the courtroom, and when Mac brought Mattie to Harm at the Wall; and sitting in Jen and Mattie's living room eating popcorn and laughing. And more recently, Mattie's visit to Mac at HQ, when Mattie had decided to return to her father and was worried about Harm's reaction. This memory brought to mind a broken promise, a promise from Mac to Mattie to spend some time together, and get to know each other better.

A gentle tap on her shoulder brought her out of her revive. "You've been standing here a while" said an older gentleman, that Mac took to be a doctor.

"53 minutes" she replied, noting his quizzical reaction to her precise answer.

"Can I help you?" the doctor asked, leading Mac to some seats against the corridor wall.

"I'm a friend of Mattie Grace…" she was unable to finish the sentence.

"Ahh, I see. Well I need to talk to her father, sorry Commander Rabb, so I can let you see her, while I talk to him"

Mac just nodded, she had no idea what she was expected to do while in the room with Mattie. Her motivation in being at the hospital was entirely based supporting Harm.

She followed the doctor through the ICU doors and into Mattie's room. She was accustomed to being in charge, or taking charge, but in this circumstance, she felt strangely adrift. Uncharacteristically, she hung back, behind the doctor, suddenly feeling like an intruder, an interloper.

"Commander," the doctor actually had to call twice, before Harm wearily dragged himself out of the chair and unto an upright position. He clung to the back of the back of the chair for support. His eyes were bloodshot and rimmed with black circles, his hair unkempt.

Mac held onto the door frame, resisting every urge to wrap him in her arms and never let go.

He did not see her at first. He was focused on the doctor "any news?" his voice was only a whisper.

"Let's step outside for a moment" the doctor said brightly, a firm believer that coma patients were aware of everything spoken around then. "This woman has said she is a friend of Mattie's, she will sit with Mattie while we talk."

It was only now that Harm's focus shifted beyond the doctor, "Mac…What are you doing here?"

"I thought you could use some company and a change of clothes" she replied, lifting the small duffle-bag in her hand. "Don't blame Jen for letting me know you have been here for the past three days."

"Oh…" Harm walked out with the doctor, his eyes constantly glancing over his shoulder at Mattie, Mac all-but ignored.

Mac could not blame him for being surprised at her arrival. She had been pushing him away fairly aggressively for a while now. Underlying the push/pull that had defined their entire relationship, he was still her best friend, and she would do whatever she could, whatever he allowed her to do at this point.

Mac took the seat vacated by Harm; he had been sitting in it for so long the cheap vinyl faintly retained his scent. She smiled – thinking this would comfort Mattie, as much as it comforted her. Tentatively, she reached out and placed her hand on Mattie's as it lay small and pale on stark hospital sheets.

"Hi Mattie, I know we said we would start to spend some more time together, but I am guessing this is not what either of us had in mind. You know Harm has been by your side every moment. I know you were worried about him drifting out of your life when you went back to live with your father, but he's here for you. There is nothing he wouldn't do for you."

Mac was at a loss as to what more to say to the teenager, so she just sat, holding her hand.

Finding the noise of the machines disturbing, and unaccustomed to being at a loss for words, Mac resumed talking, filling the room with her gentle, soothing voice. In hindsight, she had no idea what she said.

Mac was interrupted by a nurse, asking her to step outside for a moment, while she completed a series of observations.

She found Harm, sitting the same chairs she had occupied earlier. His head bent forward, cradled in his hands, his elbows resting on his knees. She sat beside him and laid her hand on the back of his neck, and was startled when he flinched.

"Don't Mac; I don't want your sympathy"

She was confused by his anger, but was prepared to blame it on stress and tiredness.

"Harm, you have not slept in 3 days, you need to rest in order to be strong for Mattie. I'll sit with her tonight."

Harm did not respond, he just raked his fingers through his hair.

"What did the doctor say?" She asked, tying to engage him in some sort of conversation.

Harm lent back, his head resting on the wall, staring at the ceiling, "That I am not good enough." He said quietly.

"Uh?" Mac uttered, confused

Harm exhaled exhaustedly, "I'm not her father, and I'm no longer her guardian, and the doctor needs Tom to make some decisions."

Mac nodded, that made sense. "Where is Tom, is he helping you to watch over Mattie?"

"Tom went out for 'some air' about ten minutes after Mattie was brought in, and has not been seen since."

The implication was clear. Tom was probably drowning himself in a bottle somewhere, but Harm no longer had legal guardianship of Mattie, and in the eyes of the medical professionals, and the law, Harm was not authorised to act of Mattie's behalf.

Harm stood to go back into Mattie's room. "Thanks for the clothes Mac" he threw over his shoulder, clearly dismissing her.

Mac felt wounded as she watched his retreating form.

She'd rescued him before without his permission, so she'd just have to figure out a way to do it again.

ooOOoo

Over the next few days Harm was a zombie in the office, going through the motions, but not really present. He was surviving on a few hours sleep and coffee, and he was headed for a crash – either figuratively, or literally.

He allowed Jen to watch Mattie one evening, while he methodically worked his way through every bar in a 20 mile radius of Blacksburg, looking for Tom. He approached the task with the same tenacity as tracking down a suspect, and his efforts were rewarded just as he was running out of options.

Tom's attitude surprised him. Harm wanted Tom to come to the hospital so that together they could care for Mattie. He was appalled when Tom abdicated his parental rights and asked Harm to resume his guardianship. Harm could never understand how Tom could walk away from Mattie. Twice.

ooOOoo

Mac tried to talk to Harm in the office, but he continued dismissing her, still Mac could not walk away.

She started to drive out to Blacksburg each evening. She stood outside the ICU just watching Harm and Mattie for an hour or more. She stood quietly, observing Harm's devotion to Mattie. How he never stopped talking to her, and touching her, letting her know she was not alone if she chose to wake up. At the end of her nightly vigil, Mac would leave something for Harm with the nurses – a flask of coffee, some fruit, a sandwich, a blanket, fresh clothes.

After almost a week of these nightly observations Mac came to a bewildering realisation. In watching Harm pour his love into a broken little girl, willing her to wake up and recover, she started to learn something about the nature of family that she had not expected.

Perhaps family did not have to be about blood.

With the exception of Uncle Matt, for whom she felt true love and devotion, Mac had believed herself to be without a family since long before her mother walked out of her life. Even then, Uncle Matt's incarceration at Leavenworth did not facilitate visiting for birthdays, or Sunday dinner.

Mac certainly understood her urban-family. The close ties with her friends at JAG that saw them all through tough times and guaranteed a family atmosphere at the Roberts's annual Christmas Eve dinner, or any of their children's birthdays.

Mac reflected, even during the height of her relationship with Chloe, she always held herself apart, never fully emotionally committing. Always a mentor, never a mother-figure in-spite of Chloe's pronouncements to the contrary, she was much more comfortable with the "sister" imagery.

But here was Harm, 200% emotionally committed to loving, caring for and raising Mattie as his daughter. Loving her unconditionally, enough to let her go back to her father when she wanted to repair her relationship with Tom, and then stepping right back into the breach the second he was needed. Even the doctor continued to slip, and refer to Harm as her father.

Perhaps she should trust Harm. Perhaps he knew what he was talking about when he started mentioning different options for them to raise a child together.

Perhaps she should not have shut him down so quickly when he wanted to explore some of those options.

Perhaps she had been a fool.

While deeply contemplating this epiphany, she did not realise that the central character of her meditation was currently standing in-front of her. His gentle touch on her arm brought her back to the present.

"Mac, you're here again?"

She nodded slightly.

"Have you been here every night?"

"Yes" she softly confirmed.

He led her over to the seats; his had still holding her upper arm. Sitting down, he took both of her hands in his, cradling them.

"Why did you keep coming when I have ignored you for a week?" He struggled to keep the incredulity out of his inquiry.

"Because just as you needed to be fully invested in Mattie, you needed someone watching over you too." She replied, never breaking eye contact.

He saw her honesty and lack of judgement reflected in her expression.

"I'm sorry, I've…"

She cut him short by raising her fingers to his lips. "There is no need to apologise, I understand, she's your family."

"You're family too" he tried to protest.

"Thank you, but not the same thing. Mattie is fully dependent on you. She needs, and deserves, your full attention."

Harm nodded in understanding and appreciation, while recapturing her hands within his. He took comfort from the ability to feel her strength.

Emboldened, Mac continued. "You've given me a great gift this week, allowing me to be here. I've come to learn a lot about what it takes to be a family by watching you and Mattie. A lot I never understood before."

"I've been rude and contemptuous. I ignored you, left you standing in a corridor for hours, no days, on end. I never thanked you for all the things that you brought for me. How is that a gift?" He was clearly perplexed.

Mac smiled warmly. "You taught me that a family does not have to be about blood, that a true family can be formed in different ways, and be just as 'true'." She gave a little chuckle, "I don't think I am explaining this very well – I'm still figuring it out."

Now it was Harm's turn to smile, his first genuine smile in the past week. "So you finally believe what I have been telling you for months!" he said with just a hint of triumph.

Mac nodded in agreement. "Bethesda's best shrink could not get me to understand what I have spent the past week observing, no wonder I can't articulate it very well."

They stared deeply into each others eyes, revelling in the warmth that had returned, and was reciprocated.

A nurse was suddenly at Harm's shoulder, "Umm, Sir, I think you should come, Mattie's eyes are fluttering. She may be walking up."

Before the nurse even finished her sentence, Harm was up and striding towards Mattie's room. Two steps down the corridor he turned on his heel and reached for Mac's hand, "coming?"

Mac extended her had to him smiling, "thank you", the minimal phrase conveying so much more meaning than simply the answer to his preceding question.

ooOOoo


	2. Chapter 2 Touch

RESTORATION

Disclaimer

Not mine. Never were, never will be. I'm just taking them out to play for a minute.

Summary

In watching Harm pour his love into a broken little girl, willing her to wake up and recover, she started to learn something about the nature of family that she had not expected. H/M

Rating: T

A/N: The order of events may vary slightly from canon to fit my narrative.

ooOOoo

Chapter 2 – Touch

ooOOoo

_A nurse was suddenly at Harm's shoulder, "Umm, Sir, I think you should come, Mattie's eyes are fluttering. She may be walking up." _

_Before the nurse even finished her sentence, Harm was up and striding towards Mattie's room. Two steps down the corridor he turned on his heel and reached for Mac's hand, "coming?"_

_Mac extended her hand to him smiling, "thank you", the minimal phrase conveying so much more meaning than simply the answer to his preceding question._

ooOOoo

Harm strode into Mattie's hospital room. Mac watched as he reached for Mattie's hand, his other hand reaching out to trace lightly along her forehead.

Mac felt a little adrift. She has spent so much time on the outside, observing, that she was not sure whether she belonged. Moving to the far side of the bed, Mac found a place where she could watch both Harm and Mattie, while still being slightly removed.

Slowly, the erratic fluttering of Mattie's eyelids calmed, and Mattie opened her eyes.

"Hi there Angel", Harm whispered; "you came back."

"Yeah. Hi." Mattie's voice was scratchy with lack of use.

Harm reached for the cup of ice chips on the side table and slipped one between Mattie's parched lips. Mattie managed a weak smile. "Thanks", she breathed after it dissolved.

"Tired now," Mattie mumbled as she drifted into sleep. While her sleep looked similar to the coma, there was none of the anxiety previously present. She had woken up, she had spoken, and these were all good signs.

The doctor had been watching this exchange too. Now he came to Harm and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Sir, this is a very good sign. I expect she will sleep through the night." Harm nodded. The doctor continued, "We will run some tests when she wakes up in the morning – to check her brain and motor functions. I suggest you go and get a proper night's sleep, and I don't want to see you back here until after 11am tomorrow."

Harm looked up and the doctor, puzzled, "I should be here when she wakes up again."

The doctor shook his head, "She knows you have been here the whole time, she will be fine. She needs to sleep, and then we need to run some scans. Be here at 11, when we bring her back from the scans, there is nothing you can do before then."

Harm looked like he was going to protest. The doctor threw Mac a look that said 'help me out here?'

Mac stepped forward, placing her hand gently in the centre of his back. "Come on Harm, you heard the doctor. You need to stay strong for Mattie, and that means a proper night's sleep."

With that Mac leant forward a placed a light kiss on Mattie's forehead. "Sleep well Mattie". She whispered, and the stepped aside for Harm.

Harm suddenly appeared even more tired than he had earlier, the worry and tension from the uncertainly of Mattie waking up had drained, and he barely had the strength to stand. He certainly did not have the mental capacity to make any decisions, and was glad Mac was taking control.

Copying Mac's movements, he gently kissed Mattie, and wished her good night. As he turned to walk out of the room, Mac stepped beside him and slipped her arm around his waist, in a move that was both comforting and supporting.

As they walked out the hospital Mac was concerned, clearly Harm was too tired to drive anywhere – certainly not all the way back to DC. Mac walked them towards her car in the parking lot, opening the door for him and gently easing him down into her 'vette.

She rounded the car and got into the driver's seat. "I have a room at the little motel on Main Street, closer than doing back to DC." Harm said as she buckled up. Mac smiled inwardly; at least he had been doing something sensible.

Mac pulled into the motel parking lot. She noted the 'no vacancy" sign, and resigned herself to driving back to DC once she got Harm settled.

"Room 7" Harm said, nodding towards the appropriate room. The parking spot in front of the room was available.

They entered a typical motel room. A small table and chairs under the window beside the door off the parking lot and two double beds with faded floral bedspreads. At the far end of the room was an alcove, on one side a few shelves and a clothing rail hung with Harm's uniform, the bathroom lead off the other side.

Harm went straight to the far bed and collapsed on the end. His body was exhausted. His mind however was moving at a frightening pace. 'She's awake'. 'She can speak'. OK, that was two hurdles down. 'What if she can't walk?'… 'What if there is still some brain damage?'… 'She has her whole life ahead of her'… 'Why did I encourage her to take flying lessons?'…

As these thoughts swirled through Harm's consciousness, tears started to flow. Mac was instantly at his side, her arm wrapped around his shoulder. This time he did not flinch, this time he collapsed into her embrace.

She felt his tears soak through her shirt. She stroked his hair and murmured words of comfort. It felt so natural to hold him in her arms. They truly were very well matched. They had been there for each other so many times; usually to comfort and support, occasionally to hurt when their egos led the way.

They stayed that way until Harm's tears slowed. Mac dropped a couple of kisses onto Harm's hair, she could not help herself. She was concerned, she needed to gauge if he was falling apart, or just letting go after holding himself together with a thread for the past week. "Harm?" no response; "Harm?" she tried to get his attention, but he would respond.

She slipped from sitting beside him, to kneeling on the floor so that she could make eye contact. She gently cupped his chin with her hand and used her thumb to wipe away the salty tracks that stained his cheeks, unconsciously mimicking a tender gesture she had received from him in the past. Finding her deep chocolate eyes, he managed a wain smile.

"You need to sleep now."

He nodded, maintaining the deep connection. She realised that he trusted her implicitly; in this moment he had relinquished all decision making to her. She helped him up and guided him towards the bathroom.

While he was preparing for bed, Mac scouted the room. She noted that he had probably been living here for a couple of days, and commuting to Falls Church for the past few days when he had returned to work for the later part of the week.

When he was ready, she guided him back to the bed and helped him in. Stopping to press a kiss to his forehead, she stroked his face as she started to speak.

"I'll be back in the morning with breakfast in plenty of time to take you to the hospital. Sleep well. I'll probably be back before you wake up. Do you have a spare key that I could take in case you are still sleeping when I return?"

"You can't leave me now." His voice was almost plaintive. "We've shared hotel rooms in the past when there has only been one bed, there are two here." His eyes were pleading for her, and she melted.

"OK." She affirmed, continuing to stroke his face, "I'll just step out to the car and get a few things. I'll be back in a minute."

He did not relax until she returned with the small duffle that lived in her car. It contained a change of uniform, some civvies and a few toiletries. It would be Saturday in the morning, so she would not need the uniform; however the civvies would do for a day at the hospital. Snagging one of his t-shirts from the shelves she stepped into the bathroom the change.

Exhausted herself, and glad not to be commencing the long drive back to Georgetown, she slipped into the other bed and turned to face him.

"Goodnight Harm", she said, turning off the lamp in the tiny table between the two beds.

"'Night Mac" came his reply through the darkness.

ooOOoo

Mac woke to half-darkness and checked her internal clock. 5:42am, significantly better than she expected. Mac was rarely able to sleep more than four or five hours during the night, so she was pleased, and given the circumstances somewhat astonished, she had accomplished almost seven.

Expecting Harm to still be asleep, she was surprised when she rolled over to see he was watching her from the other bed. "I was wondering if you were planning to break a personal record for sleeping through the night?" he quipped with a smile. "'Morning, sleepyhead." He said reaching across the gap between the beds with his lanky arm, seeking her hand.

Reaching for his hand was the most natural response. "'Morning" was all she managed to say, but her smile lit up the room. She needed a moment to collect herself, and whole swarm of butterflies were holding a serious party in her stomach.

He had been watching her sleep for the past 20 minutes, letting his mind replay their conversation from the previous night about family. He wanted to hope that perhaps they were finally on the same page. He wanted to build a family with Mac, but he first needed to concentrate on Mattie, and he hoped she would understand.

He realised they were each lying in their separate beds, holding hands and sharing wide goofy grins. It was the most relaxed and refreshed he had felt waking up in a long time.

It was too early to see Mattie, too early for breakfast, and as much as he was enjoying watching her, their positions were a little awkward. He longed to be waking up with Mac in his arms, but their relationship was not there… Yet.

"Let's go for a run, and pick up breakfast on the way back."

It was a solid plan, and one to which Mac readily agreed. "Give me five minutes" Mac replied as she swung her legs out of bed. Forgetting that she had slept in just his t-shirt and her panties, rather than her usual cowboy pyjamas, Harm was treated to a tantalising view of her long legs as she made her way to the bathroom to get changed. He was glad he had a few minutes to compose himself before her return.

ooOOoo

Ten kilometres and a hot breakfast later it was feeling like the Saturday's of old that they had spent the same way. They had concentrated on the run, pushing it hard, but not so hard that they could not talk as they ran. It was comfortable, best friends at their best. This was why no other relationships worked for them; they all lacked this level of connection.

As they finished their coffee Mac could tell Harm was starting to get anxious. "Let's get changed and head over to the hospital early. It's only 8am; perhaps we can see Mattie briefly before they take her for the scans" she suggested.

Harm was grateful for her understanding. Sliding from the booth he reached for her had as they left the diner. Mac smiled to herself, it felt so natural to fall into step with him.

ooOOoo

They arrived at Mattie's room just a nurse was finishing adding some notes to her chart. Mattie was awake, but appeared quite distressed. Harm was immediately at her side. "Mattie, angel, we're here" he said, reaching for her.

She was still in a neck brace, but had fewer monitors that the night before. She was obviously pleased to see Harm, but the evidence that she had been crying could be clearly seen. "Harm, I'm scared. There is something wrong, I can't move my legs."

Harm glanced quickly at Mac for support, drew a deep breath, and squeezed Mattie's hands. "It's too soon to know anything at the moment. You have been through a major trauma. The body has amazing healing powers, but sometimes it just takes some time." He held her hand and her eyes, willing her to believe him, willing his words to be true.

He started sharing a little of what he had been through recovering from his ramp-strike and recovering from hyperthermia after being adrift at sea. Telling Mattie how on each of these occasions his body found ways to heal that surprised him.

Mac watched quietly. She was so proud of his ability to open up to Mattie at this time when she needed it. Mac quelled the twinge of jealousy that he had never shared these experiences with her, but then again, she had never needed to hear them the way Mattie did now.

Mac became aware that the doctor was standing at the door, also listening to Harm give Mattie strength through his own experiences. He nodded to Mac, asking her to step out into the corridor, leaving Harm with Mattie.

"Wow, they are some powerful stories, and very good for Mattie to hear right now." Mac nodded in affirmation. "He's quite the daredevil, is he going to be able to focus on Mattie and help her through this, or is he going to need to leave and save the world, again?" the doctor continued.

Mac could not help but smile, "adventure has a way of finding Harm, but I think this is his next adventure. He has an amazing love for Mattie, and nothing will take his attention away for helping her to deal with whatever the outcome of this accident may be." Mac took a deep breath and continued, "Do you have any ideas as to her prognosis, or is it still too early?"

"Her speech appears normal so I am hopeful there is no lingering brain trauma. As for her spine, I am not prepared to say until will do a full work-up."

Mac understood, she felt privileged he had shared that much information with her.

"I see you were unsuccessful in keeping him away until 11am as I had requested," the doctor said with a grin.

Mac laughed, "I did the best I could."

ooOOoo

It was a long day of tests and scans. Mac and Harm spent hours in the hospital gardens walking and talking. Harm needed to talk though all the permutations and combinations of Mattie's prognosis that he could think of. Some were reasonable, some were outlandish, but Mac let him talk them all out. He was not usually so open to discussing what was going on in his life, so she encouraged him to keep talking, and she pulled him back when his thoughts became too dark.

He was breaking it down, the same way he would a case, it was clinical, but productive. He appreciated the way Mac encouraged him, but never let him wallow in worst-case scenarios. He was glad she was with him; he would have gone crazy if he had spent the day waiting on Mattie's results without her.

Finally, they sat down for a meeting with the doctor in Mattie's room; Mattie was old enough to hear the results first hand. The long-term outlook was good. As suspected, there was no brain damage. Mattie had suffered significant injury to her back. It was not permanent; however there was substantial bruising and swelling. Once the swelling abated, Mattie was going to need physical therapy to re-lean how to walk; recovery was going to be at least six, perhaps even twelve months.

In the scheme of all the possible outcomes, this really was good news. The road to recovery would be tough, but it was attainable, and that was the most important thing. Mattie was excited that she would walk again, and set her sights on achieving this goal by her birthday, just seven months away.

Knowing the course of treatment required. Harm, in consultation with her doctor, decided to transfer Mattie to a rehabilitation hospital closer to DC, where Mattie could receive daily treatment, hydro therapy and also keep up with her schoolwork.

ooOOoo

Over the next few weeks Mattie settled into her therapy routine, and her temporary home in the rehab hospital. Her friends from school came to visit most days; and her teachers agreed to webcast her English, Maths and Physics classes so that she would keep up.

Harm and Mac found a new level of closeness. Outside of work they could usually be found together, visiting with Mattie or just spending time together. Mac enjoyed being in sync with Harm, their banter was strong and flirtatious, but she wondered if this was all they would ever be.

Harm wanted to spend every minute with Mac, but he also needed to give everything he had emotionally to Mattie. He did not know how to do both at once, so he hoped Mac would understand what he needed to do.

Being characteristically unable to tell Mac what he was feeling, he was always looking for ways to touch her, to imbue in each touch a signal to her that he wanted her to wait for him. At work it was very professional, his hand in the small of her back guiding her through doors as they walked together. Out of uniform, he would take her hand or slip his arm over her shoulders to hold her close. When he left her at the end of the day he would kiss her forehead, or her cheek. Occasionally he would press a quick, chaste kiss to her lips that lasted only the briefest of seconds.

At night, in her bed, she would replay these moments of tenderness, imagining they could lead to something more. She scolded herself that she was behaving like a school-girl of Mattie's age with a crush. Yet every kiss, every touch was catalogued and available for play-back; she spent the last hour of every day thinking only of Harm.

ooOOoo

Mattie's progress was tracking well, but she could still only take a few steps at a time. Harm was concerned that she may need more time than her self-imposed goal of walking by her birthday. He spoke to her doctors and came up with a new plan, a plan that required the General's assistance.

ooOOoo

They were sitting in the General's morning briefing meeting. "And one more order of business" he started to say "… Colonel Mackenzie, you have been selected for command of that unit… You'll be stationed in San Diego." Mac's mind went blank, she was vaguely aware of Harm leaning towards her and saying, "Well, it's only a five hour flight."

"I wouldn't make my vacation plans just yet Commander, I hope you like Yorkshire pudding… You'll be stationed in London… Congratulations Captain Rabb." Harm found he was wearing the same stunned expression he just saw on Mac's face.

Harm had walked her to her office after the meeting, perhaps bombshell was a better word for it. Of their brief conversation one sentence stayed with her, causing her both hope and confusion; 'A lot of decisions need to be made, and I am not talking about staffing decisions'. So Harm, ever cryptic, the office was not the place to push him on exactly what he was implying.

The rest of the day flew by in a flash. Mac tried to wrap her head around what was happening. Being transferred was always a possibility; it was highly unusual that they had stayed together and in the same posting for so long.

At home later that night Mac was starting to pack by candle light, trying to soften the edges of the stark reality of what was happening. She felt caught-up in a momentum that was greater than her, propelling her forward her feet not touching the ground. She never liked being out of control, and she was currently feeling very uncomfortable.

Like a welcome sighting of land after months at sea, Harm was at her door. She consciously held herself back from throwing herself into his arms.

"I need some advice."

"Good, 'cause I need yours."

"What are you doing about the lease on your apartment?"

"That's what you wanted to talk to me about? Real estate?" She could not keep the incredulity from her voice.

"Yeah."

"Harm, what's really going on here? Did you speak to Mattie?"

"Yes, I've just come from seeing her."

"And, she told you to go."

"She told me to follow my heart."

"Uh?"

"Mac, I had a meeting with the General this afternoon. A meeting I had booked before this morning's announcements."

Mac looked at him quizzically.

"Mac, I had decided over the past few days that Mattie needs more from me if she is to reach her goal of walking by her birthday. I came to a decision that I need to take a leave-of-absence from JAG in order to concentrate on Mattie and her recovery. She needs someone caring for her in the same way my grandmother cared for me after my ramp-strike."

Mac looked like she was going to say something, Harm held up a finger to quieten her, he needed to say everything that was on his mind without any interruptions

"I booked a meeting to discuss this with the General yesterday, I kept that meeting today. I know I should have talked to you about this first, but I was scared I would lose my nerve. I turned down the posting, and the promotion too I guess, I'm not going to London. I'm taking the next six months off to care for Mattie."

Mac nodded and she absorbed the magnitude of what he was saying, of what he was sacrificing for Mattie.

"The question becomes, do Mattie and I continue her treatment here? Or do we transfer her treatment to … San Diego? Where she would benefit from the warm sea air … and Trish and Frank can help … and … and we … could be … together?"

Mac barely let the final words escape tentatively from his mouth before she threw herself at him, leaping into his arms.

"You are the most amazing man, that you would sacrifice your career for Mattie, I love you." The words were out before she had the fore-thought to censor herself, and she suddenly felt awkward, she was wrapped around him, declaring her love and she had no idea if he felt the same way, if she had read too much into his question about moving to San Diego. She started to slip from his grasp, trying to hide her embarrassment.

Harms grasp on her tightened, "I love you too. And I guess that answers my question about if you would mind us coming to San Diego with you." He responded with a smile, and then moved in to kiss her.

His kiss started tender and soft, but the passion that had been simmering between them for nine years soon overflowed. She opened her mouth to his questing tongue, and they explored each others mouths with a hunger they had last experienced on the Admiral's veranda. The difference this time was there was no sadness, no guilt, this was not goodbye, no one was walking away. This was about new beginnings, about starting something that was stronger and more passionate then either had ever experienced.

Locked together, they navigated their way though the debris of boxes in the living room and into the bedroom. The future appeared clear for the first time, and they were approaching it together, with Mattie, as a family.

ooOOoo

Fini


End file.
